
With everything that I’ve gone through in college, I’ve always been someone who has looked back and thought of what I could’ve done better or what I would’ve done differently in certain instances. Mainly because I’ve always been remorseful of what I’ve done due to thinking they’d make me look dumb in comparison when really they just make me human. But now I would like to do the opposite of that, I’ve looked at the past too much that I wonder what’s next for me in the future. I’d like to look ahead and see what I can do in the future to be a better person.
My life choices would be something I would improve on, first of all. While it is true that we react on instinct most of the time and even involve human emotion mixed into it, there is a side of me that wants to be more nuanced and neutral with what I see. Not everything would be seen in the same lens mind you, I can only think of a few instances where my decisions would be set in stone, but in every other instance, I would like to step back and look at both sides of the situation. Having myself be more neutral can mean a lot when I don’t try to radicalize my decisions under the same excuse of “because I want to” or “because I feel like it”. This goes with making friends, friends that I can have a meaningful connection with both in the workspace and in my life. It’s easy to see why people would make great connections with others they wouldn’t think to connect with if they were younger, since there’s so much to the human mind that you never get to see since you’re never so preoccupied with how a person acts outside of what they do and where they go. So once you do take the time to step back and see the kind of person they are, it only clues you in onto why they did the decisions they made, whether for personal reasons or any others that make sense to them.
There’s also the matter of seeking help when possible, something I’ve taken for granted for far too long in my career. Growing up, I never thought to seek help for how I’ve been feeling mainly because I’ve grown to not be able to trust people to be honest with their words on how I’m feeling and what I can do to be better. Not to mention the fact that I’m the only one who knows how I feel, at the time, I thought “If I know how I feel, and I’m right about it, well then what can they say about it?” That was my mindset at the time, and it only seems to carry over and bubble overtime as I’ve seen people come and go in my life. During my junior year, I’ve expressed thoughts of demotivation and wanting to stop going to college purely for the fact that I didn’t think it was fun anymore. I would be constantly annoyed with my family, try to push them away, only interacting with my internet friends as a means of escaping the real world while also living in it, only for that escape to come from video games. At the time, I just thought that my anger towards them was just my anger issues bubbling up along with them feeling suffocating to me. Only after some self-reflection that I realize I was only stressed out from school so much that I had no way of releasing that stress outside of video games, and the outlet of that stress would vary in people. I never took the time to seek help even if my mom wanted me to because I just thought I can still brute force my way through, even if it means making myself miserable in the process. That being said, that is definitely something I’d want to take into consideration moving forward since it becomes the sole factor as to whether or not I’m actually happy with where I’m at.
This is where it ends for me, mainly for my college career. And instead of reminiscing about my time here again like I’ve always done, I instead want to extend a helping hand for those who my be starting out or nervous about what to do when they make it to college. So for those reading, take your time with your projects and never stop at making time for yourself. Your time is just as valuable as anyone else’s and it doesn’t stop for you to be indecisive. And even then, you’ve got all the time in the world to explore yourself, see what works and what doesn’t. With your projects, whether it be from homework or just something you personally want to do, always take time to doing them. Even if you have a due date to finish them, always make time to do them as soon as possible, especially if you’ve already made plans for yourself. Always step away whenever you need to, it’s just as important to look after your mental health so you don’t become super fatigued and stressed out over something superficial in comparison. In a world where mental health has gone completely down hill in the past few years, it’s always important to keep yourself in check so as to not be in the same bubble you once were. So my advice to you is take time for yourself and never stop moving. Keep going and you’ll make it eventually.










